Some folks hate spiders. I don’t really count myself in that group, save for select spiders. You know the ones. The ones that can kill you by just looking at you sideways with four of their eight eyes. All the rest are fine.
Except the ones that manage to get into your bedroom and climb on your face when you are sleeping. Really hate those as well. But all the others are just peachy.
Well, except those who build their webs right across your walkway at face level, so as you are rushing out the door in the morning, you get a face full of wet webs and if you are really unlucky an irate spider on your nose. Yeah, I hate those as well. Not the other spiders, those are OK in my book.
Except the ones that hide under stuff in you house. You know the ones. You go to pick up that book you left opened when you went to go grab a drink from the kitchen and when you come back and pick you the book there is a spider waiting there under it. Just waiting to scare the crap out of you. Yep, don’t like those either. But the remainder are all well and good.
Except those huge freaking spiders that look like they could eat a puppy if they were so inclined. I mean think about it. If they could eat a puppy if they were in the mood, what about if they were really hungry? I bet they would jump on you, pummel you with their eight legs, inject their poison into you, knock you out, wrap you up, and feast on you for weeks. I don’t know about you, but I have no desire to be anything’s liquid diet. No, those big, mean looking spiders I hate. All the rest are good to go.
Except those really little spiders. The kind that can sneak into any nook or crevice without a thought. And then bite you on the big toe when you put your shoe one, making you hobble around for days. Those little spiders are a menace. Man I hate those, but I don’t have anything bad to say about the rest of the spiders.
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Not fiction, but the image just drew it out o me, so this will be the first in the “ramblings” category of posts. Just random stream of consciousness type stuff. Let me know what you think. 🙂
Personally, I love spiders. The great big scary ones, the little ‘bitty sneaky ones…but particularly the beautiful web-spinny ones that make me think that maybe Charlotte’s Web never happened, and there is still goodness and light in the world.
Basically, what I hate are childrens’ books authors who think it’s OK to spend an *entire bloody book* making a spider a character, just to kill it off near the end. Fuck those authors.
Full disclosure, I did have a pet tarantula as a kid and spiders in general don’t bother me too much. And really, the only spiders I don’t like are the poisonous ones (though I tend to just give them their space unless they decide to invade mine) … and the ones that drop down right in front of your face when you are not expecting it. The ones that spin their webs across walkways are annoying, but I wouldn’t say I actually hate them … more like I hate the surprise of a face full of web and a spider on my nose.
Gotta agree about Charlotte’s Web …