Riff 031616

The mushroom sprouted and pushed its fruiting body out into the world, towering over the grass that had for so long had pressed their roots down into its mycelium. As the cap opened, a feeling of release and freedom fill the fungus. And then it looked down.

Not being accustomed to the height it had attained, it began to feel dizzy, which was another unique experience for it. It swayed for a moment, then caught its stalk and held itself upright.

“Hey, quit hogging the light!”

The mushroom turned its cap left, then right looking for the source of the voice.

“Down here, you dumb fungus! Quit hogging all the light. Some of us gotta eat, ya know.”

The mushroom tilted its cap forward and saw an unusual patch of grass in its shadow. Unlike the grass around it, which had slender blades, this had blades and stalks with more blades on it, as well as slender stalks growing more vertically than the rest.

“I’m sorry”, said the mushroom, “but this is all very new to me.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised. If you knew your cap from a hole in the ground, you’d know better than to hog all the light.”

“Pay no attention to him.”, said the grass off the mushroom’s left. “He’s got no ground to voice a complaint. Him and his kind have been choking us out of our right homes for years.”

“Oh, I thought you were all grass.”, said the mushroom.

“Well, technically, we are.”, said the left patch of grass. “But he’s a rather belligerent sort. Overtaking entire areas of the yard. And with its particularly crabby demeanor, it is not one to partake in friendly banter. Or pitch in for lawn parties.”

“Hey! I do my part. I always show up and am the life of the party!”

“And then you spew your seeds everywhere, only to have your family force us out of areas that were once ours.”

“Whatever. It’s not like the human seems to mind. And that being the case, I say it’s survival of the fittest.”

“Sorry if I have caused this family squabble.”, said the mushroom. “It was truly not my intent. I’ll only be around for a few days. Spores to drop and whatnot.”

The arguing continued throughout the mushroom’s stay and it just stood. And listened. All the while plotting for the next burst of fruiting bodies and the expansion of its own holdings on the lawn, all under the very roots of the unsuspecting grasses.