Riff 021016

It stared at me, unblinking and accusatory. Its gaze burned into me like brine on an open wound. I heard its unspoken words.

“You left me here, alone, out of my element. Left me to sit, unable to move, unable to fulfill my purpose.”

It really was accidental. There was no intent. Just one of many that I retrieved and the only one to make an escape. If there was any fault it was not mine. It was to blame, seeking freedom it would not be able to handle. It separated itself from its companions, not me.

“You did this to me. Your weak grip and slow reflexes.”

I stared back at its burning pimento pupil. How dare it claim I was to blame!

“I did not do this to you! You want to believe it, I’m sure, but that does not make it true.”, I yelled back at it, realizing as I did so that if anyone were watching, they would surely have thought me unhinged.

All I wanted was olives in my omelet, and now I found myself arguing with the olive on the napkin next to the stove. It was gong to be a long day … or at least an atypical one.

“So you just going to leave me here? Am I destined for the trash? My existence little more than space in a waste bin, my potential wasted?”

I sighed. Life was so much easier before my food decided to give commentary.  I stared back, hoping to impose dominance by forcing it to blink first.

A fool’s errand I soon realized as my eyes began to scream for moisture and I fought to hold back on blinking my eyes.

Olives do not have eyelids and therefore no means to blink. I have been out foxed by a freaking olive.

I grabbed the offending orb and held it before me.

“Sure, go ahead, squash me and put me out of my misery. No chance of being in a martini or on a pizza. I had such high expectations, waiting in that jar. The world was full of possibility and now I …”

I popped it into my mouth and savored its succulent bitterness and relief at having reached its true potential.