Visions of a Madman

So FYI, as a rant, this is not in the humorous vein. Well, I hope it’s not in the humorous vein, though you never can tell. Consider yourself warned.

I’ve got a Lenovo W530 laptop. It is what I usually write the riffs and whatnot on, not to mention a key tool for my work. I’ve had it for about 3 years and the battery finally decided to crap out on me.

“No problem”, I think, “I’ll just get a replacement.”

So I did my research, found a replacement at a local store and brought it home. I swapped out the batteries, plugged in the AC adapter, and booted it up. So far so good.

Then I noticed the alert icon in the status bar.

Since the battery was not a Lenovo battery, it would not charge while hooked up to the laptop. Turns out that Lenovo has a chip in their official batteries. If a battery does not have the chip it can’t recharge. As a result, a replacement battery that can actually recharge while installed in my laptop it’ll run me about $70 more than what I had paid (and thankfully was able to get refunded).

I understand the need for the concept of proprietary knowledge and limitations. This should have limits, however. For a computer manufacturer to require a battery for the laptops they produce to come from them exceeds those bounds in my opinion. Especially when their official battery has an average rating of 2 out of 5 stars.

If you are going to limit your customers’ choices, you damn well better be offering top quality. That does not appear to be the case here. And it is disappointing to say the least.

It’s not like Lenovo will cover any issues resulting from the use of non-Lenovo parts, including batteries. They say as much on their site. As such, since the results and consequences of using non-Lenovo parts are all the burden of the end user, placing limitations on using said parts seems somewhat petty. Honestly, I cannot see a valid reason for it, though I will also say there may be something more to it than I am aware.

Bottom line is I am not a happy camper. Not that I would take my laptop camping … that kind of goes against the entire idea of camping. It just burns me that I am beholden to one company for a replacement battery, who’s main focus is not batteries, rather than run with a brand that I trust with batteries (Duracell). And to top it off their batteries come with a 1 year warranty (which, according to the reviews for the battery, shortly after that one year mark is when the battery starts to crap out) compared to the 2 year warranty the Duracell would have had.

<sigh>

It could be worse, I suppose. There could be no battery options and I could have to look for a new laptop. Here’s to seriously hoping I do not need to shop for a new laptop for at least another couple years.

“Craziest damn thing I ever seen.”

George walked into the bar, the patrons all gathered around an older man who was holding his drink in both his trembling hands.

“What’s crazy?”

“This guy’s telling us what he just saw out in the desert. Sounds a bit too much like a tall tale to me.”, said the bartender.

“Ain’t no tall tale, ‘s the damned truth! I ain’t never gonna ferget it in all my days!”

George pulled up a stool at the bar next to the old man and ordered drink for both of them.

Curiosity had a way of digging its claws into George. Always had. And it usually got him into all sorts of trouble by having heim be exactly where he was not supposed to be.

“Obliged.”, said the old man as his drink was placed on the bar in front of him.

“So what was it you saw, mister?”

“I’ve been livin’ in this desert my whole dang life and I ain’t never seen the like. It was a coyote, runnin’ around on its back legs! Fool thing was runnin’ around, tryin’ t’catch whatever it could. Could tell it were hungry by how skinny it was. Hunger must’ve made it stupid too.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, it caught scent of this bird what started to scramble away from it and it started chasin’ it, running on its goldurned hind legs! Ain’t never gonna catch a bird like that.”

“And that’s why you think it was stupid?”

“Nah! It put up a good chase, better’n I thought it would. Bird kickin’ up a mighty fine cloud of dust with it ziggin’ and zaggin’. Fool coyote never even saw the cliff. Ran right off the edge.”

“That’d definitely be a sight, but I don’t think …”

“Damn thing climbed back up the cliff! I swear it even dusted itself off! Then went right back to tryin’ t’catch that bird. Thought he had him too, ’til the bird cut a sharp corner right along ol’ Willits’ fence line. Fool coyote run straight through that barbed wire!”

“Ew … got cut up bad did it?”

“Got sliced into four pieces! It just sorta stopped and stood there a sec and it sorta slid apart.”

The patrons around the old man gasped.

“That ain’t the worst of it! It picked up its own pieces and put itself back together!!”

The old man finished off the drink George had bought him in a single swallow. George was about to call out the codger for spinning a yarn when the door to the bar opened and in walked a coyote.

“Evening, my good barkeep, a strong libation if you would be so kind. I have had a particularly trying day.”

The road stretched on in front of them, disappearing in to the distance. It was the same road they had been looking at for the last several days. The end never seemed to get any closer and there had been no side roads. Just the same dirt track going and going and going.

It seemed like they had been traveling forever, though it had been a week at most. It started in chaos. The raid on their camp, the screams of those with whom they had been camping coming out of the darkness, the inhuman growls of whatever it was that had torn through their camp, it was all like a distant memory. The feeling they were being tracked kept it all too current for John.

“We’ve got a few more hours of daylight. Best to keep an eye out for a somewhat secure location to camp.”

None of them felt secure camping in the open, not after their group dropped from almost two dozen to the four of them. As far as any of them knew, they were the only ones able to get out in one piece. Or any number of pieces for that matter.

Since their panicked flight, the routine had been the same. March through the day, find someplace they could lock or barricade for the night, sleep as best they could, and move out at first light. The routine was taking its toll on all of them, physically and mentally. But they all felt the need to put as much space between themselves and that night as possible.

After another hour, Claire spotted a building in the distance and the group picked up their pace. If they could get there with at least an hour or two before sundown, they might be able to try to scrounge up something to eat. Their supplies had been low when they fled the massacre and were now all but gone.

The building came into view and their hopes diminished. It looked like it had been a gas station before the Fall. If it had not already been picked clean they might be able to find something to eat, but it did not bode well for a secure shelter. Still they pressed on. Options were not plentiful and they would have to take what they could get.

After giving the structure a few minutes of observation, they moved up to it. The front windows were long gone, the occasional glint of broken glass on the ground in front of the frame baring the only testament to the window’s previous existence. The interior was a wreck. It looked like it had been picked over multiple times. Still, somehow, Phil managed to pull a couple of tins of something from the debris, the labels missing, though that was not a surprise. In the five years since the Fall, so many things had fallen to time and the elements it would have been surprising to find a can with its label still legible, let alone present.

The one pleasant surprise was the walk in freezer in the back. They opened the door and backed off to let it air out as long as they could before securing it from the inside for the night. The smell of old rot still lingered, but was at least bearable, at least for a night. They all settled in and set up their usual watch rotation.

It was several hours later when the door thumped. Claire turned on the flashlight and illuminated the door. The rope and chains they had secured to the inner handle looked secure enough, but Claire lowered the shotgun all the same. She kicked John, who groaned and sat up.

“There’s something out there.”, she whispered, “It just tried the door.”

So yeah, not fiction, but man, I gotta say I have learned more about refrigerators in the last week than I ever thought I would need to know. And yes, it was intentional.

A few months ago, I had a couple trees come down, taking out the power lines to my house … mostly. The house was still getting current, so when I got home, and found the house dark, I went to the circuit panel and found the main breaker had tripped so I cut it back on. And everything was fine … for about a minute.

In that minute I opened the ‘fridge door and the light blew out. And a few seconds later everything went out. That’s when I went outside with a flashlight and saw the trees covering the far side of my deck. Long story short, the entire debacle killed the ‘fridge, but left the freezer functioning fine.

So I broke out the dorm ‘fridge and had been using a two appliance solution for the last few months. Problem is, that solution sucked. The dorm ‘fridge is way to small, so no cooking in excess of a single serving which is a pain. And while the freezer worked, it also built up ice, so it was not working the way it needed to be working. On the flip side, it made ice cream turn into a brick and I discovered you can make the world’s most decadent ice cream sandwich with vanilla cherry ice cream and chocolate fudge pop tarts … but I digress (seriously, try it some time … though each one is like 500 calories or so, so don’t go crazy with it).

Thanks to the glorious invention of the internet, I was able to research what the issue could be (with the ‘fridge, not the decadent pop tart ice cream sandwiches, the issue for which is quite obvious) and ran with the free solutions first (defrost the entire thing, check the connections to be sure there was nothing blocking air flow from freezer to ‘fridge). Those did not solve the problem, so this last week I broke down and installed a new compressor fan motor. That was an adventure in itself as the replacement motor was fairly different from the old one. And it was not in the most accessible of locations. So wire stripping/splicing, jury rigging a ground mount, and a little back strain from being in unnatural positions all checked off the list and the compressor fan motor was working.

That did not solve the issue.

Though it did improve it a bit (we’re talking a ‘fridge sitting at just above 40F at the coldest setting compared to a ‘fridge sitting just under 50F at the coldest setting). The temperatures of a cool and warm spring day, not the temperatures of a usable refrigerator … which is kind of the point of the ‘fridge’s existence.

Not being one to deprive an appliance of the fulfillment of its purpose, I then tore apart the freezer section and discovered the evaporator fan was not triggering.

“Ahha!”, says I, “Now we’re getting somewhere!”

I managed to track down a replacement and installed it on Friday late afternoon. This was also a bit of an adventure, with connections that were so tight I actually pulled a mount free from the old motor before the connector would come loose. But there was no contortion involved, so it was certainly a less painful endeavor. I put the freezer section back together, plugged it all back in, and I had a working evaporator motor!

“Sweet!”, I think as pictures of having fresh produce at my beck and call bounced through my head.

I left it alone for about an hour, all plugged in and doors closed and then went to check on it.

The ‘fridge was sitting at 40F.

The freezer was still colder than Michigan in the middle of a cold snap, so I loaded a few things back in there (my cooler space is not extensive, so the items that were in the questionable cooler went back into the freezer). I went out to hang out with friends for the evening and spaced on checking it when I got back.

Saturday morning I went to move the thermometer from the ‘fridge to the freezer to make sure everything was still getting to somewhere below 0F and lo and behold the temperature in my ‘fridge was …

just below 30F.

Not exactly where one wants a ‘fridge … it is a ‘fridge not a low grade freezer (though that dorm ‘fridge tends to disagree a bit). But I at least solved the Case of the Warm Refrigerator. And all for about $140 (which is significantly cheaper than replacing the entire thing). Now I just need to tweak things around a bit and all will be right with the world.

Well, except for the microwave, which also fried when those trees came down. I think it might be the fuse in the microwave that needs to get replaced …