So the world took s a turn for the surreal, as I am sure most everyone has noticed. As such I did not feel I could add much to that surreal landscape until things settled a bit. Not that it has. The world is a truly whacked out place, and growing moreso by the day, so I figured what the hell. Time to get back to it.
Not sure what the posting schedule will be but I suppose we’ll find out that one together.
Cheers and enjoy.
“So what does it mean?”
“What do you mean, ‘What does it mean’? I think it’s pretty obvious.”
“Yeah, OK Terry. It’s ‘number three’. But what does it represent? It’s number three of what?”
“Well … the guy I bought it from said it was the third one ever made, so I guess that’s what it means.”
“Uh huh. Sure. I’ll accept that. Except what exactly is it?”
“What? I told you what it is.”
“No, Terry, you told me it was, and I quote, ‘one of the coolest things that I have ever seen‘, ‘something that I knew I had to have‘, and now ‘it was the third one ever made‘. None of which actually speaks to what, in fact, it actually is.”
“Oh, well, it’s a machine, of course.”
“And …”
“And what?”
“And what kind of machine is it? It sure as hell isn’t a blender. Or a sports car. What is it?”
“You’ll laugh and call me stupid.”
“I’ll do that anyway, more than likely.”
“OK, fine, Ralph. It’s a time machine. I bought a time machine.”
“A time machine …”
“Yes.”
“A machine for moving through time …”
“Yes.”
“And how, if I may be so bold, does this ‘time machine‘ of yours work.”
“Well, from what I was told, your set the dials and whatnot to the time you want to go to and then you press that big red button.”
“That’s it?”
“Yep.”
Ralph stood up and walked over to the machine. He peered into the window and pointed.
“Those dials right there?”
“Those dials. I’m just trying to figure out where I want to go. I would kinda like to go see a dinosaur.”
Ralph opened the side door and stepped inside.
“What are you doing, Ralph?”
“Checking out the dials ‘and whatnot’.”
“Well, don’t hit that button. I still need to figure out where …”
A loud click was immediately followed by the sound of a growing hum. Terry jumped out the window of the machine as it began to shimmer and shake. A moment later it vanished.
“What the hell, Ralph?! That’s my time machine? Where did it go?”
“I, uh, I set the dials … ”
“Ralph! What did you do?”
“I sent it to the future, apparently.”
“What, like tomorrow?”
“Um, no.”
“How long do I have to wait to go see a dinosaur?”
“Um … November 17.”
“That’s like seven months away!!!”
“Um … seven month and a few millennia … it’s November 17, 4261.”
Terry stood silent for a moment.
“Ralph, you are so stupid.”
“Yeah, I deserved that one.”
So North Carolina’s governor has decided to fight the order from the Justice Department and filed a lawsuit. Sheer and utter crap.
Putting the more serious aspects of the law aside (that being the restrictions placed upon members of the LGBT community when it comes to seeking recourse for discrimination based upon sexual and/or gender identity), my biggest questions on the entire bathroom restriction element of the law are:
For a political party who’s rallying cry has been to have a smaller, less invasive government, this seems just a wee bit hypocritical. Not that it surprises me.
Additionally, for a “business friendly” government, this round of shenanigans has cost the state hundreds of jobs and millions of dollars from two companies pulling out from planned expansion into the state. This does not include revenue from cancelled concerts and other entertainment, potential losses from film production opportunities, reduction in tourist spending, etc. etc. etc. Fiscal responsibility must have a different definition down in Raleigh.
Then there is the matter of potentially losing millions of dollars in Federal Education funds. “Think of the children” should no longer be a usable mantra for the Republican party, not that they have fought for education. The loss of Federal funding will just hasten their endeavors to gut the public education system in the state.
Anyway, this is starting to sound more like a rant than a vision.
I have been working on a site concept (it’s not live yet; I’m still working on gathering data, but the domain is therighttobitch.com), but figured I would throw out a few shirt designs in the spirit of that site. I have included the images below, but if you really want a shirt or whatnot, you can get them here.
“They’re out to get me, Doc!”
“Who is this they, Gerald? And please come out from behind the couch.”
Gerald slowly peaked out over the top of the couch back, his face obstructed by the gas mask he was wearing. After taking a cautious look around, he stepped around and sat upon his former hiding place.
“Them, Doc, THEM. They’re everywhere, Doc, and they are trying to kill me.”
“Gerald, there is no one trying to kill you. We have been over this before. Remember two months ago when you thought the mail carrier for your building was trying to kill you by poisoning your mail? It turned out to be nothing of the sort.”
“Yeah, OK, I may have been wrong on that one. But I swear, Doc, they are really out to get me!”
“Just like the Meteorological Society was plotting your demise last December? What was their method again?”
“Trained ninja icicles.”
“Ah yes, trained ninja icicles. How exactly does one train an icicle, Gerald?”
“I wasn’t able to figure it out before it warmed up and melted them all. That warm spell was the only thing that foiled their plans, Doc. But this isn’t them. This is a worldwide conspiracy. It’s the …”, Gerald looked quickly back and forth, scanning the room for anyone who could have materialized into the closed office space before whispering, “… the Verdant Society.”
“I’m sorry, the what? It really is hard to understand you with that gas mask on, Gerald. I understand it helps you feel more at ease, but you really must speak louder and enunciate if you insist on wearing it during our sessions.”
“The Verdant Society! Is that clear enough for you, Doc?”
“I’ve never heard of them. What can you tell me about them, Gerald?”
“What can’t I tell you, Doc? They are a global organization. They experience regular periods of activity followed by short periods of dormancy, though they are always active somewhere in the world. They focus their operations on bringing down the Industrialized nations of the world by striking at the very people of those societies, releasing bioagents into those areas to incapacitate and potentially kill off those who would seek to expand the footprint of the Industrialized world upon the Earth. One could call them Luddites, but one would be wrong. It is not technology they have issue with, it is those who have embraced that technology and lost some measure of contact to the Preindustrial world as a result. It is that loss of contact that marks you, even though you may not realize you have been so marked. It may start with a sniffle, a cough, watery eyes, there are numerous signs. But it can quickly spread, making you an easily identifiable target to the VS, especially if you decide to try to cover up your mark by some over the counter …”
“Are you talking about hay fever, Gerald?”
“Hay fever. It always sounded like a code word to me too, Doc, but I can see you know what I am talking about.”
Gerald sneezed. Then shrieked.
“Calm down, Gerald, it is merely allergies. Let me get you some antihistamines and water and you can tell me all about this plant conspiracy of yours.”
So the riffs may be a bit more sporadic during the month of April. I am taking part in the NaNoMo April “Writing Camp” with the goal of knocking out 50,000 words by the end of the month. As such, I will be doing additional writing all month long, so I may skip some riffs here and there.
But!
I will post up what I write with every 10,000 or so words I manage to knock out (rounded to the end of chapters). It will most likely end up with it’s own category (it’s not really a riff, ramble, or rant, after all), so keep an eye out on the navigation for something new, probably later this week.
Wish me luck! 🙂